Resilience diary - pain today: 6/10. Photo: "Šṯâğèš" I'm starting to enjoy these trips down memory lane. As i come to the start of my teenage years i feel like reflecting on what my first twelve had been like in summary. Being born is a scary thing. The first few years are pretty useless as you spend ask your time learning basic functions. My journey departed the norm there and it's been a wild ride since. Overall i remember my childhood fondly which is a testament to the brain as it was only that in the support i had from family and family friends. I went through a cutie of world first operations and spent half my life in plaster casts by that point. I was confused by the world and its mixed messages that seemed to exist in every domain. The world was moving fast and i was just about to enter the world of mobile phones. I had found an outlet to work out all out, scouts, and had had my first existential breakdown and was doing as i thought Descartes did and started trying to build my world up from the foundations up. Only problem was finding the foundations which i haven't yet but you kinda get intuition for things and life goes from there. My teenage years were to come and they were angry years for me. It seems growing up is just learning how to manage your emotions so as not to seem too mad when seen by the world. The rest of the time we can be as mad as we like i guess. #project117 #stories #stages #youth #autobiography

Resilience diary- pain today: 7/10. Photo: "Ðíśṯříçṯ" Scouts was more popular when i was in it and with more numbers came more opportunities. One such one was district camp, an event where all the scouts in a locality go camping together but with a twist, its a competition with the winners going to another Camp to compete against the winners from other regions. That was a problem we never encountered but we tried our best which was all i bothered with. Not being very competitive myself i found myself enjoying the baffling range of rules and scoring potentials, one comes to mind was the number, spacing and accuracy for the ropes holding the tent to the ground, including the type and depth of the pegs. Then there was the knots holding the tent together that needed to be neat square lashings and other such catastrophes. The tents were the old school triangular forms with big logs held together by lashings and knots to form the frame. They had a separate floor which meant rain was a problem requiring a drainage channel. It went on and on. Meanwhile they had activities to do as well like abseiling, archery, rock climbing etc. anything adventurous. They didn't last long as districts i think faded into a different format but i could be wrong. I've been out the loop for over 15 years now, which has been its own adventure. Anyhow, time to try moving. Body is beaten today. #project117 #districtcamp #scouts #competition #tents

Resilience diary- pain today: 7/10. Photo: "Błōòḏșħǒṯ" Investigating my bloodshot eyes as a kid resulted in my wearing of sunglasses anywhere outside regardless of weather. I don't know if the bloodshotness is related to my light sensitivity as well but both have been a constant with me and I've of the reasons i prefer the darker Cloudier region where i live. I felt like a broken Australian being allergic to sunlight, though like the rest of my pain i just put up with it and got on best i could. Sunglasses with polarised lenses were the cure though, the polarised bit being most important cutting out most of whatever it is that stings my eyes with to sneeze, though maybe the stinging and sneezing are not correlated... anyhow, the glasses did give me some issues at school due to my first ones being medically prescribed, meaning no thought whatsoever was put into the design and i looked like i had eyes the size of a fly for a while. Eventually I found glasses i liked and have been tethered to a pair ever since. My hatred for the sun is born mainly out of the stinging it causes my eyes, a bit like a chlorine pool but sharper though much shorter in duration. #project117 #eyes #sunnies #sunglasses #sight

Resilience diary- pain today: 5/10. Photo: "Ťũṟbüłėŋṯ" Grandad had a large dog, a German shepherd called Tommy, who was a huge cuddly fluffball that smelled always of slightly wet dog. The backyard was wide, on the side of a slight hill that made backyard cricket a bit lopsided but gave Tommy plenty of exercise. Before the renovation the laundry was at the back where the cricket bat, ball's and similar equipment lived. Every visit i would rush out the back to grab a bat and ball before jumping down to the grass and playing. The house had a workshop and storage underneath, created from the falling away of the hill and leaving the brick pylons visible in an attempt to explain their magical skill of holding up the house. Saturday nights were spent in the living room with the TV in way too loud as Grandads hearing was expectedly not the best, watching the ABC and its regular Saturday night showing of the long run series of the Bill. I became quite a fan of the Bill and its loud soundtrack. A show always ending in a success of Some Sort, like many things in life, it gave hope to everything having a happy endingending, even if not always the case. #project117 #water #youth #lifestory #thebill

Resilience diary- pain today: 6/10. Photo: "Mêşš" Despite being yelled at Numerous times by my mum or numerous housemates or partners I seem to just be messy. It Annoys me as much as anything else and yet I cannot seem to avoid it. There are the occasional small wins as I start fresh with either moving bedrooms as a kid or whole addresses when an older kid, keeping the space tidy for longer than i expect only for it to inevitably dissolve into chaos. I've tried to balance this out by pairing up with neat people and pleading with them to let me stay oncev they worked it out. But often I'd be offsetting one of their own character flaws and it would all balance out. By thirteen though, i hadn't learnt this yet and just continued to get in trouble. I'm still useless in that regard but accept it, do my best and try and make up in other ways. I learnt early on to work out how to remain useful even when i was not physically ideal for the task... the concept is in that sentence but not coming out yet but I'm sure I'll get it out again on here some day. #project117 #messy #mess #tidy #untidy