Resilience diary - pain today: 7/10. Photo: "Šűbṯłê" Looking back on my teenage years recently I'm clueless as to how i had the energy however when viewed from my teenage self I wasn't tired. This month has been wonderfully busy for me as I pushed myself out to try a new exhibition as well as be a keynote speaker for a charity auction fundraiser for disability ngo's which was amazing and teaching me new skills and refreshing old ones. I've been to Italy where i took this shot on an exploration of Florence and the incredible artworks there. I did some workshops where i share my ideas around self advocacy with a hidden disability. And i started exercising for the first time in five years and I'm so bloody sore from it. But in a week i should get a needle to reduce the pain in my broken spine and then i can hopefully build some strength back to be fit enough to stay fit with to live as long as i want to. I'm having a great life right now, better than sixteen year old could ever imagined. I've no idea where tomorrow takes me, I've got some basics to sort out for the long term such as financing my lifestyle, but mostly i want to keep enjoying what i can and getting through what i must. #project117 #reflect #subtle #time #change

Resilience diary - pain today: 6/10. Photo: "Ğöłīâṯħ" The age gap between my brother and I is three and a half years. As i turned sixteen he was just entering high school, a different one to me and we started living very different lives. We fought a lot as kids but as teens we connected only at family things and otherwise was off doing whatever extra curricular thing entertained us. I don't even know half of what he did as was too focused on my own busy schedule. We were always mates though, close enough to know the other was there when needed but otherwise was not prioritised. I don't know how my parents juggled such varied schedules and activities, mine focused on scouts and temple at the time, my brother was doing rugby and tae kwon do, probably why we stopped fighting to as he was to fast for me even if i was bigger. I lost touch with most of my family over the coming years as i struggled with life and all its complexity. I was young and eager to find my way which initially meant making a lot of mistakes on my own before finding an easier way. My brother helped out at those later times, giving me opportunities when i was down. Our relationship remains despite my nearly twenty years overseas. He's still my favourite and i love him deeply. #project117 #brother #fight #different #love

Resilience diary - pain today: 6/10. Photo: "Ŵěáṯħēṟ" Sydney was a huge city growing up with my knowledge of it limited primarily to the north east. A semi circular shaped city with the other half of the circle occupied by the Pacific Ocean which drives much of the weather systems that guided my life. From the ocean swells and wind swept waves where i first felt free swimming and surfing in its offerings to the southerly Buster's, huge storm cells that would crash through a summer afternoon drenching everyone and cooling the place down. I could navigate by smell as the sea was always to the east which made it easy to navigate regardless of the time of day or weather. I was an outdoor kid who found ways to live with the weather rather than fighting it. My favourite times were the big storms though. With crashing thunder and rain that drowned out every other sound. Sometimes I'd be camping as the world turned upside down ands all i could ever do was smile. It was Glorious being in the moment with all one's focus on the here and now. I forgot my pain and could just soak up the roar power around me, an observer with no choice but to observe. I still love standing out in heavy rain feeling the smashing of droplets into my arms face and body. It takes control and you just have to let it. It's a break from all other times. #project117 #weather #predictions #opportunity #hectic

Resilience diary - pain today: 5/10. Photo: "Łåŋğűǎğê" At school I was learning German and Japanese from about year six, dropping Japanese when i changed high school but keeping German to the end. My stupidity quite astounding as after 6 years of learning two very different languages i still hasn't worked out that i wasn't just supposed to change the english word to a foreign one. Despite my successes in English which was my favourite subject as well, i had no academic understanding of grammer. I seemed to have forgotten those lessons and focused on the way i could describe what i needed to in whatever language i happened to possess which in this case was English. It wasn't until i moved to germany years later that i would finally click that sentence structure is different in many languages. Then new words came to me that didn't exist in English and the translations never got the full picture and i was in love but also still stupid and still mostly just speak english. English for me though is my emotional language. Its where i first started to explore life through poetry, feeling out ideas ands thoughts through the written word. I have been looking for a language that helps me describe my experiences especially my pain. As information passes between us solutions present themselves and the language of pain is so basic it doesn't cover enough. The complexity of life being transposed into words will always be short of completion but the journey there should occupy whatever time we have left in this universe. I wish i had the motivation to learn other languages but I'm too deep in my own to side quest, though in reality it's happening slowly as I dig in. Just more abstract as i search for the meanings i don't have in mine. #project117 #language #communicate #information #understand